Losing Ruby
by NancyMay
Summary: What happens when Christopher has trouble with Ruby. What will Jean and Lucien do?
1. Chapter 1

Jean has been willing to rush to Christopher and Ruby's aid in the show and in other stories, this time I'm playing with the idea that Ruby can't cope even if Jean has set her on the right road, so to speak.

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The shrill ring of the phone interrupted Jean as she was preparing a stew for dinner. She'd planned to put it in a slow oven and leave it for most of the day while she got on with some serious cleaning. Wiping her hands on her apron she picked up the receiver,

'Dr Blake's residence,' she barely got the words out when she heard the sound of a child, a baby, in obvious distress.

'Mum!' Christopher's voice over the screaming child.

'What on earth's going on? What are you doing to Amelia?' Jean was appalled at the noise from her son's house.

Christopher had to shout over Amelia's cries, 'She's teething, I can't find Ruby, and I can't soothe her!'

'Oh God!' thought Jean, 'what has she done?'

'What do I do?' He bellowed down the phone, which Jean was now holding at arm's length.

'Raw carrot or cucumber stick, for Amelia, call the police for Ruby!' She had to shout to be heard.

'I have called the police!' Christopher yelled back, 'What do I do now? Mum help?!'

'Ok, I'll get the train, I'll be there as soon as I can be,' Jean had no option but to go to her son. He could keep a squad of soldiers in check but he was useless with a baby and a missing wife. She put the phone down and looked at her preparations for tonight's dinner. She could get the stew in the oven and leave it, with a note for her husband. They'd only been married weeks and now she was off to Adelaide again, when she got back she was going to suggest they left the country for a month. They needed a honeymoon, anyway.

She practically threw the stew in the oven, hastily wrote a note to Lucien, telling him what was going on, what to do with dinner, and that she would ring him when she got to Adelaide. She told him she loved him and left lots of kisses on the end of the note. One was in lipstick!

Checking the train timetable she kept by the calendar she saw she could catch the next train if she hurried. Calling a taxi, she had time before it arrived to throw some clothes into a suitcase, just enough for a couple of days. She was sure deep down that Lucien would be close behind and when she rang she would be able to tell him if she needed more.

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Lucien arrived home after an easy day, which was fortunate given that he was about to find his beloved had had to go to Adelaide. The smell from the kitchen was enticing but it was awfully quiet. As he entered the room his eyes were drawn to the note propped up on the table. Jean's familiar handwriting showing. Reading it his stomach lurched. Ruby missing, Chris trying to deal with a teething baby, it all sounded horrific!

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Jean caught a taxi from the station in Adelaide to Christopher's house. On arrival she could hear her granddaughter screaming as she hurried up the path. Christopher must have been watching from the front window as the door opened before she got to it. Her son stood there, still in his pyjamas, his hair sticking up; it always had in the morning; carrying his distraught daughter.

Jean pushed him inside, dropped her suitcase, and took Amelia from him. Her little face was red, her nose was running and, Jean noticed, she needed changing!

'Bed!' she ordered Christopher, pointing upstairs, and he visibly relaxed, turning and trooping up the stairs like a small boy.

Jean turned her attention to Amelia. First a clean nappy, then something to soothe those gums, and a cuddle until she slept, the poor little thing must be as exhausted as her father.

Amelia responded to the expert attentions of her grandmother and was soon soothed and sleeping. Settling her in her cot, Jean took the opportunity to ring Lucien.

'Lucien,' She smiled as she heard his voice answer the phone, 'I'm sorry, but I needed to get here quick. You should have heard Amelia scream when Christopher rang. I couldn't not come over.'

Lucien heard her sigh over the phone, he knew she would need his help.

'Do you want me to come over?' He asked, it was a silly question, of course she did.

'Oh please.' The relief in her voice was palpable. 'But what about your surgery and the police?'

'I'll let Charlie know and they can get a locum or Alice can step in.' Lucien would have left Ballarat untended for his Jean.

'Ok, but when you do, I've only brought enough things for a couple of days, so...'

'Want me to bring more over?' He grinned, even though they were married he was still a stranger to her underwear drawer, even though he saw her dressed thus and was happy to relieve her of said garments, her drawer was a thing of mystery!

'Please.' Jean was probably less embarrassed than Lucien, after all she had been doing his laundry for long enough.

'Right,' he was decisive, 'I'll pack and come over tomorrow. I'll drive so I don't know what time I'll arrive but I'll set off early.'

Jean then told him what had happened. Amelia was not teething well, she spent most of the time screaming and Christopher and Ruby hadn't slept for days. Ruby must had got so stressed she had broken. She had obviously just walked away. Everyone was worried as to where she had gone, Christopher had been given indefinite leave and the police were searching all over Adelaide.

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Jean finished the call sending her love to all, but especially to her loving husband. She then turned her attention to the state of the house. It was a mess; there were nappies soaking, plates and cutlery unwashed piled up in the sink, half eaten meals. She pushed her hands through her hair and set about restoring order.

The nappies were set to boil in the twin tub, the washing up was done and left to drain. The kitchen floor was washed and she found enough food in the larder to make a meal of sorts.

She managed to find time for a quick cup of tea before Christopher staggered down the stairs.

'Mum,' he muttered sleepily. 'I don't know what to say. I didn't think you would come so quickly.'

'Christopher, you are my son, and I will always be there for you.' She smiled, reaching out for his hand. 'Now, how about tea?'

He sat down at the kitchen table and gratefully sipped the warm drink. He breathed a sigh of relief.

'What about your husband?' He asked, he still wasn't sure about the doctor.

'Lucien is coming over tomorrow, sometime.' She informed him, 'I had to leave him a note, his dinner in the oven. That's not what I envisaged after six weeks of marriage. But, as I said, you are my son.'

Christopher heard the disappointment in her voice, and she was right, he was a grown man and should be able to sort out his own problems without asking his mother for help. For advice, maybe, but not for actual physical help. And now, here he was, a small boy again. It was, even in his eyes, humiliating.

Jean looked at him, he was the more reliable of her two boys, but even he was unable to look after himself. She was sorry that Ruby had found motherhood so desperately hard, she didn't find it easy herself, but at least she had straightened her back and got on with it. There was a time for self pity but when your babies were young wasn't it.

She stood up and went to the oven. 'I have managed to put a stew together with what I found in the larder. I'll go shopping tomorrow and fill up the fridge.'

'Thanks, mum,' Christopher murmured. He loved Ruby, but maybe his mum had been right, she was too fragile for an army wife, but it was too late to do anything about that now.

Jean spent the day chivvying her son to keep in touch with the police, gave him chores to do to keep him from thinking too hard. She fed and changed Amelia, and settled her for bed in the early evening. Then she and Christopher sat down to eat the meal Jean had prepared. 'Good old mum,' he thought, 'she could make a meal out of practically nothing.' In return he washed up.

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Jean spent the night alternately tending to her fractious granddaughter and dozing. It seemed that every time she closed her eyes Amelia woke, but she'd done it before and she could do it again, she hoped!

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The early morning sun streamed through the bedroom window. Something warm and slightly whiffy, was curled up against her. Jean pulled her granddaughter close, she must have dozed off the last time she had tried to comfort Amelia, taking her into her bed. She'd had to give in if she was to be able to function the following day. She inhaled and sighed, deciding she'd better get up before Amelia realised she was with her grandmother and could, possibly, get away with anything; as grandchildren tend to do.

Swiftly, Jean washed and dressed before the child awoke. She could hear Christopher snoring in his room and it made her smile. Gently lifting Amelia and placing her in her cot, Jean went quickly downstairs to make tea. The kitchen was just as she had left it, but it was not to her liking. There were the dishes on the drainer, clean but not put away, and laundry on the clothes horse, dry but in need of either ironing or folding and putting away. So much to do before Lucien arrived later that day. Lucien, 'bringer of light' Oriel had said, and he would bring light into this dark time of her life.

She made herself a quick breakfast of tea and toast before putting away the dishes from yesterday. She had just swallowed the last of her tea when she heard Amelia cry. Not wanting Christopher to be disturbed, she ran up the stairs and lifted the baby out of the cot. Soothing the child as she went she took her to the bathroom and cleaned her up and changed her into a new nappy and dress. Amelia was less distressed than when she had arrived yesterday, and looking into her mouth she could see the emerging teeth, having finally broken through the gum. Two top and two bottom at once, no wonder the poor thing was in so much pain!

'Come on sweetie,' she kissed Amelia's head, 'let's go and find some breakfast.'

She carried the baby down the stairs and set her in the high chair. She gave her some cereal and milk, the last she noticed, in the larder. She would add that to her shopping list as well as the rest of the things she had noted the night before. Thank heavens she had the pram, it would be a heavy load. While she was checking the rest of the cupboards Christopher stumbled sleepily down the stairs.

'Mum?' He sat at the table, his head in his hands. He'd thought he'd been dreaming but here she was, picking up the pieces again! He felt a failure. He hadn't been able to support his wife, he couldn't deal with his child; the only thing he could do was control a group of squaddies!

She set a cup of tea down in front of him and rubbed his back between his shoulders. She didn't really know what to say. She'd thought he was more like her than his father, able to cope with whatever life threw at them; but obviously she had been wrong, or she had failed and not supported him enough. However, hindsight was a wonderful thing but she had to get on with sorting out Amelia, propping him up and hoping she had Lucien to lean on, because, for once, Jean felt she couldn't do this on her own.

She put some toast out for him, it was all she could find, and told him to get dressed and go and see what the authorities had done over the last twenty four hours. She was going to take Amelia in the pram and get the groceries and anything else she had noticed was missing. She'd be gone a while, she said. She also told him that she expected Lucien later that day, or early evening. It wasn't a suggestion it was a statement of fact and not up for discussion. Whatever he thought of her husband she needed him and he would have to put up with it. Yes he looked sad, defeated, but he was a grown man and at his age she had two boys and a farm to run, so...

Jean was a very generous and gentle soul but she was also a realist, life had a habit of throwing difficult situations at one, one just had to duck or chuck it back.

Christopher looked up at her, she was right, of course, what kind of man rang his mother when things got tough?

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Jean put Amelia into the pram and put her coat on. Christopher had enough presence of mind to give her all the money he had in his wallet towards the shopping, he couldn't expect her to pay for everything. He also remembered to give Jean the spare key so she could come and go as she pleased.

Jean felt she ought to be more sympathetic but she had to get the house sorted first, and Amelia settled. Order needed to be restored so when Ruby was found...

She didn't want to think about the alternative.

It took her most of the morning to shop for what was needed, she didn't know the area as well as she knew home and Adelaide was bigger than Ballarat so there were more shops to choose from. She had to stop browsing and get done, Amelia would be wanting her lunch and she didn't fancy wheeling a pram with a screaming baby in it back to the base.

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Back at the house she manhandled the pram inside and unloaded the shopping before Amelia woke. She put the kettle on and started to make something for lunch. The baby was on solids now so she prepared some vegetables that she could mash easily and some fruit for her dessert. She was disturbed by a knock on the door. Visitors at this time of day, surely not? Other wives would be busy making lunch for their families so who could it be?

She opened the door and instantly smiled, Lucien stood in front of her grinning broadly.

'Oh Lucien,' she flung her arms round him, 'I am so glad to see you, and I am so sorry I had to rush off like that.'

He picked her up and kissed her, there on the doorstep, in plain sight.

'How did you get here so soon?' She showed him into the kitchen where her granddaughter had decided to make her presence known.

Lucien picked up the baby and tried to distract her while Jean made some tea.

'Oh, the bed was cold without you so I set off early this morning.' He went over to her and kissed her again. Amelia was happily playing with his beard as he balanced her on his hip.

'How early? It's a seven hour drive, at least.' Jean put a cup of tea on the table and motioned him to sit down, while she got one for herself.

'Bout four, I suppose.' he sipped the welcome drink, 'I've brought you some more clothes, hope I got it right.' He looked a little embarrassed at this.

'Well,' she smiled, cheekily, 'if you've forgotten anything you'll just have to buy me new, won't you?' She leant over to pick Amelia up off his knee and kissed Lucien on the forehead.

'Er, yes, ok.' He liked treating Jean so buying her some new clothes would be a pleasure. That said, he would give her the money and she could choose, if it was underwear!

Christopher had left a note on the table,

'Gone to the police, no news yet. See you later. C x'

Well at least he was being more proactive than sitting at home worrying.

'Jean?' Lucien watched her face as she read the note, obviously not good news, but not the worst either, 'did Ruby take any clothes with her?'

'I have no idea, I didn't get round to checking.' She was spooning food into Amelia's mouth, ' I'll get us some lunch first, I only had toast for breakfast. I'll check when madam here has been fed and changed.' Jean realised she was hungry, she was used to a proper breakfast, and toast somehow didn't quite hit the mark, when one had a lot to do. Lucien must be hungry, too. He had driven for hours and probably hadn't bothered to stop, except for petrol.

'Sounds like a good plan. I'll babysit while you do that.' Lucien grinned.

Jean grinned back, she wiped Amelia's face and picked her out of the high chair, and passed her to Lucien. Handing him her drink in a bottle, she turned and started to make something for the two of them to eat.

Lucien raised his eyebrows, he thought he could remember how to give a baby a bottle, but Amelia wasn't going to wait and grabbed his hand, pulling the drink to her mouth.

He laughed and turned to give her his full attention, watching Jean out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't angry that Christopher had called for help, but he felt deep down that Jean thought he should try a bit harder, rather than running to mother when things got tough. He knew she would always be there for him, heck, if had been Li in the same situation he'd probably have forgotten to leave a note!, but Jean had left him a meal and a note. 'She was a marvel,' he thought as he watched her prepare a light meal and put away the shopping at the same time. When this was all sorted he was going to take her on that belated honeymoon, well away from family; just the two of them.

They sat eating lunch and discussing what they should do. First Jean was going to check to see if Ruby had taken clothes. She was fairly sure not, sure that the police would have asked when the whole thing started, and Christopher would have said, wouldn't he? Unless he was too embarrassed to admit she had left him. When they had done that Lucien was going to go down to the police station and see what they were doing to find her. He told Jean he was worried Christopher would think he was interfering but Jean said she wanted him to interfere, and hang what her son said. He called her for help and she wanted Lucien there, not sitting on the sidelines, but actively helping, using his experience and knowledge.

Amelia had fallen asleep, so Jean put her into the pram. Lucien washed the pots while Jean went to her son's room to check Ruby's clothes.

She sighed when she went through the door, it was a mess; clothes lay all over the floor, draped over the chair, the bed was unmade. She wasn't certain she would be able to tell if clothes were missing or not. She started to pile the laundry up by the door, and stripped the bed. She had no idea. There was nothing special missing, all Ruby's makeup and cosmetics appeared to be on the dressing table. It looked like she'd just walked out of the door in the clothes she stood up in. She was standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips, wondering where to start when a slight noise made her turn. Lucien; he'd finished in the kitchen so he thought he'd go to see how his wife was getting on. She smiled at him and ran her hands through her hair, undoing her curls , making Lucien smile back. He loved it when her curls were disturbed, but it was usually him disturbing them!

'No luck,' he asked.

'Lucien,' she spread her arms wide, 'I really have no idea. The room is a mess, her cosmetics are there, but that's all I can see. It looks like she just walked out.'

She picked up the pile of washing and made to leave the room. Lucien took the laundry off her and carried it down to the kitchen for her.

'Where will I find clean bed linen?' He asked.

'Pardon?' Jean looked at him as she filled the twin tub.

'I'll make the bed,' he offered, 'I can at least help you that way.'

'Thank you,' she kissed his cheek, 'the linen cupboard is on the landing, next to their room.' She watched him leave. He'd taken his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves revealing those strong forearms that she loved to feel round her.

She got on with the washing and while the tub ran it's cycle she prepared a roast for dinner. Part of it she could mash for Amelia, it was how she had fed the boys and it didn't seem to do them any harm.

'Right!' The sudden sound made her jump.

'Lucien!' She cried, 'Don't do that.'

'Sorry, love,' wrapping his arms around her, 'are you alright if I go down to find out what's happening with the search?'

'Yes, you go ahead.' she agreed, 'it's only a short walk, unless you plan to drive.'

'No I'll walk,' he put his jacket and coat on, 'are you going to come down to meet us?'

'Yes, I'll get this washing on the line and bring Amelia out in the pram.' She took his hat off the peg and popped it onto his head.

He bent to kiss her goodbye. She wasn't going to be happy with a peck on the cheek, so she took the lapels of the coat in her hands and pulled him into a proper kiss. Breaking free, he smiled and kissed the top of her head. He turned, looked over his shoulder, tipped his hat and left the house for the short walk to the station.

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A lot of stories written on fanfiction give Ruby strength, but I thought I'd go back to the original idea that she was a bit 'fragile'. More than one chapter. Reviews and comments welcome, as always.


	2. Chapter 2 Looking for Ruby

Well, now, where is Ruby?

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Lucien introduced himself to the desk sergeant as Lieutenant Beazley's mother's husband. He thought it was a step too far to call himself Christopher's step father, although he supposed he was, really. After some hesitation from the sergeant and persuasion from the doctor, he was shown into the Inspector's office where Christopher was discussing the findings, or lack of. After introductions Lucien asked where they had got in the search for Ruby.

'Well, there have been no reported sightings of Mrs Beazley, yet, but it's early days.' The Inspector sounded positive, at least for Christopher's benefit.

'May I ask where you have searched?' Lucien tried to reign himself in, he knew he could be a little too assertive sometimes, but this was not his usual stamping ground and he would need to be a little reticent, to start with, anyway.

'The usual places, train station, taxi office, roads out of Adelaide, the beach.' The Inspector listed all the places it was usual to search for a missing person. Places they could have conceivably gone to get away from whatever was troubling them. The police had shown a photograph of Ruby around the streets and in some of the shops, grocery stores and butcher's mainly; stores where a housewife would shop.

'What about the parks,' Lucien suggested.

'We've men scouring all areas of Adelaide,' the Inspector didn't like this police surgeon from a smaller town questioning his methods.

'Glad to hear it,' Lucien smiled one of his beatific smiles; they never got past Jean but they might just get past the Inspector! 'Well, Christopher, perhaps it would be best if you went home now, it seems the Inspector has everything covered.' He touched the younger man's shoulder, wanting to let him know that he would do everything in his power to help find his missing wife.

'Yes, I suppose so,' Christopher sounded defeated and Lucien was beginning to fear for his mental well being. They both got up and Lucien ushered the younger man out of the office. As they left the station they saw Jean coming towards them with Amelia in the pram, she smiled as she saw them but the smile disappeared when she saw Christopher, he looked so lost. As much as she had never really taken to Ruby, she was her son's wife and now she was missing he hurt, probably as much as she had hurt when she had been told her Christopher had been killed. As they walked back to the house she noticed that he never even looked at his daughter. Amelia was sitting in the pram, clean, in a pretty dress Jean had chosen for her, her burgeoning curls bouncing round her little face. Lucien had his arm round his wife, sensing her worry.

Back at the house Jean went into housewife mode. Seeing to Amelia, getting the dinner sorted. The roast was almost ready. She brought the washing in off the line and sorted it into ironing and things to put away. Ruby wasn't coming back, she had an awful sense of foreboding.

Dinner was eaten in almost total silence; Jean tried to lighten the atmosphere with stories of what Amelia had done that day. It wasn't much, rolling around, trying to crawl under Jean's feet. Lucien said that was what his daughter Li was like, a committed explorer, Christopher smiled, weakly. When dinner was over Christopher excused himself and went to his room, he couldn't face a evening of forced normality with his mother and her husband.

Lucien helped Jean wash the dishes and tidy up, and then they went to sit together in the lounge.

'Oh, Lucien,' she whispered, 'what are we going to do?'

'At the moment, hope.' he kissed her, trying to soothe her.

'And then?' Jean's voice held the worry of Amelia being left motherless.

'Jean,' he hugged her tight, 'let's not worry about that just yet. We'll survive, we always do. But,' he continued, 'I think it might be a good idea if Chris returned to active duty. He needs something to keep his mind occupied.'

'He has his daughter.' She sounded almost bitter, she had noticed that he had ignored the baby on the way back from the station.

'But she is a constant reminder of Ruby,' Lucien stroked her shoulder, 'and it isn't helping him.'

Jean sighed heavily. Maybe he was right. If Christopher was occupied giving his squad hell he would be too tired to worry about the situation. And at the moment she had Lucien to support her; but, he couldn't stay in Adelaide forever, she was sure he would have to go back to Ballarat sooner than her.

The following days followed with no change, except that Christopher and his superior officers, on advice from Major (ret'd) Dr Blake, had agreed he should return to active duty. He arrived home each evening, exhausted, ate his meal and went to bed. He barely acknowledged his daughter. Lucien, meanwhile, badgered the authorities, becoming more and more forthright. Jean was glad, he was like a terrier, worrying things until he got a reasonable answer. Unfortunately, the reasonable answer was not forthcoming.

After two weeks of no sign of Ruby, Lucien had to go back home. Jean knew it was inevitable, and she had to agree he should go. Alice was holding the fort for both jobs and it wasn't fair. Jean had phoned several times to apologise, Alice had assured her it was fine, she was coping, but Jean didn't believe her and was beginning to feel guilty. Lucien said he would go home and would try to come back later, at the weekend. Jean insisted he use the train, if not he would have to stay at home. She didn't want him driving that distance on a regular basis, and she felt that's what it would be. Now they were married she didn't want to wait great lengths of time before she saw him again. She wanted him in one piece, she needed him in one piece.

One the last day before Lucien went home he joined the police in a finger tip search of the Cleland Conservation Park. It had been searched thoroughly, but on a suggestion from Lucien that Ruby was actively hiding from them, and moving around when she thought they were getting closer. He didn't know whether Ruby would have the guile to do this, but if she was married to a serviceman he may have told of ways to hide from the enemy, in telling of his work.

It was quite late in the day, a day of looking under every rock, in every crevice when a shout went up from one of the officers.

'Over here!' he called, waving furiously near the gully.

Lucien ran over followed by some other officers. Looking down into a dip in the landscape he saw a figure, lying face down. He scrambled down to find the object of their search. He knelt down, silently praying to whatever god was around, if there was indeed a god, and searched for a pulse. She was cold, but there was a faint flicker of a pulse.

'Get an ambo!' He yelled up to the watching men, as he took off his coat and laid it gently over her. While he waited he started to examine her as best as he could. Checking for any breaks; as he reached under her body he felt a glass bottle. He pulled out an empty bottle of whisky. As far as he was aware, Ruby was not a drinker, at least neither Jean or Christopher had ever said so; but would they admit that? Jean might because it would be a source of concern to her, but only if her son had confided in her.

'Anyway, enough speculation,' he thought, 'back to the problem in hand.'

She had a large gash to the side of her head, probably from the fall and had lost a fair amount of blood. He hoped the fall was an accident and that she hadn't drunk the whisky to give herself the courage to jump.

It seemed an age before the ambulance arrived, and it wasn't an easy task to get her back up to the ledge she had fallen/jumped from on the stretcher.

Lucien went in the ambulance with Ruby while the police went to inform Christopher that his wife had been found.

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Lucien had to relinquish control when he got to the hospital. He gave all his findings to the doctor on duty and then thought he'd better phone Jean and be on hand when her son arrived.

'Jean,' he spoke quickly, 'we've found her.'

'Lucien...,' she didn't want to ask.

'She's alive, just.' He proceeded to give her a quick account of where they had found her and in what state. He said he'd stay at the hospital until Christopher got there and would make sure he was taken to see her. What would happen next he didn't know.

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At the house Jean held her granddaughter close and shed tears of sheer relief. Amelia snuggled close into her grandmother, sucking her thumb; something she had just started doing, possibly a reaction to the tension in the house. Jean kissed her head and drew herself up, knowing she had to get on with things. She could lean on Lucien later, for now she needed to feed Amelia and make sure there was a hot meal for her son and her husband. Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand she went into the kitchen, put Amelia in her high chair and got busy.

Amelia was in bed, and Jean had done all the ironing, tidied the kitchen and plumped the cushions in the living room by the time Lucien returned from the hospital. He looked tired. They held each other close, clinging to each other in relief.

'How is she?' Jean looked into his eyes, searching for hope and answers.

'Conscious but unresponsive,' he sighed. They sat on the couch, holding hands, 'unfortunately, until she speaks we won't know if the fall was an accident due to the amount she had drunk or...or intentional.' He hated to tell Jean he thought Ruby might have tried to take her own life. Life was precious, after all he had gone through during the war, he could not envisage a time when he would want to end it all; he'd fought for survival for too long to give it all up voluntarily.

'Do you really think she would do that?' Jean hated to admit she had had the same thoughts.

'You know her better than me,' he pulled her to him, 'but lack of sleep, little support I'm afraid, from the one person who should have helped her, possibly feeling inadequate, who knows? Only Ruby.'

Jean was saddened, saddened to think Ruby had felt so alone, that Christopher hadn't called her earlier, that he wasn't able to provide the support for Ruby. Perhaps it was because Christopher knew his mother considered her fragile, but hadn't he called her when Amelia was a newborn, called for help because Ruby couldn't cope then? She was also angry, in some parts with herself for possibly giving the impression that she thought they should both grow up a little, angry with the both of them for letting things get so far. Why hadn't other mother's around the base offered to help? Had they and then been turned away through pride? Did they have any friends round the base? Certainly she had had few visitors while she had been there this time, whereas when she was there the first time there was a constant stream of visitors? Oh what had happened between then and now? So many questions and no answers, yet.

Lucien watched her battle the questions she would not ask him because even he didn't have the answers. All he knew was that she couldn't do this alone. He'd call Alice and tell her he would have to stay a little while longer, at least until Ruby was a little more responsive and they could sort out what to do with the little one. He was sure it would be some time, if ever, before Ruby was able to parent.

'I'll just phone Alice and let her know I'm staying a bit longer.' He stood up and went to the phone.

'Lucien, don't,' Jean went over to him and touched his arm, 'I don't want Alice thinking I can't cope, either.'

'Rubbish! Alice would never think such a thing. You can't deal with both Amelia and Christopher on your own, just yet. Christopher needs your undivided attention when he's home from the hospital and Amelia needs you too. Let me stay, just for a couple more days.' He wrapped his arms round her, tightly and kissed the top of her head.

Jean relaxed into him and agreed. He was right, of course. She didn't want him to go.

She went into the kitchen while he made the call. They should have some dinner. She set the table and was just dishing up the meal when he came through, smiling.

'Alice says I am to stay as long as you want me.' He informed her, 'no ifs or buts.'

She smiled, Alice was a good friend, 'I hoped you thanked her.'

'Of course.' He leaned across and squeezed her hand.

They had finished eating when Christopher came in. He didn't look too good, shaken and pale. Jean went to her son and hugged him,

'Come and have something to eat.' She took him by the hand into the kitchen.

'I couldn't mum,' he sniffed.

'You're no good to either Ruby or Amelia if you don't look after yourself,' she scolded him, 'now sit down and eat.' She put a small portion of food in front of him and stood with her arms folded, full 'mother mode'. Lucien turned away to hide a smile.

'Ok, mum, thanks.' He managed a slight smile and started to eat. As he did so he found a bit of his appetite, and he had to admit it was tasty. He finished what she had put out for him and, after drinking some water, excused himself and went to his room.

Jean had noticed Lucien smiling and turned to him,

'Just what do you think you're smiling at Dr Blake,' she teased, 'There's the dishes to do!'

'You.' He squeezed her round the waist. 'He's a grown man, a lieutenant in the army and he's defeated by his mother. Maybe we should staff the forces with Jean Blake's!'

She laughed at that, and allowed him to kiss her before she started to wash up.

'I think I need to go and talk to Christopher.' She said, when they had finished in the kitchen.

'You do that.'

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She tapped on the bedroom door and went straight in. Christopher was lying on his side, crying into his pillow She sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his arm. He turned.

'What did I do wrong?' He sobbed.

'What did you do, at all?' Jean asked, she needed to know why it had all gone horribly wrong for him.

'We couldn't get any sleep. Amelia was constantly crying, neither of us knew what to do. Ruby doesn't have any friends we could ask for help, she doesn't get on particularly well with most of the other army wives. And we argued.' He told her.

'Why didn't you phone sooner?' Jean asked. 'At least I could have given you advice over the phone, to start with.'

'Ruby didn't want you to think she was incapable of being a mother.'

Jean sighed, 'Am I that intimidating?'

'To Ruby, yes. I suppose because you just got on with it she thinks you expect other to as well.'

'I came fast enough last time, didn't I?' She asked.

'Yes, but you went back fast enough when Ballarat called. And you spent an awful lot of time with Blake when you were here.' Christopher sounded bitter, in spite of what Lucien had just done for him. It was because the doctor had insisted on one last search that Ruby had been found.

'I was lucky Lucien came after me otherwise my last chance of happiness would have gone. You wouldn't have wanted me around forever, and where would that have left me?' Jean was hurt that he thought she only cared for her husband. 'I never left you and Ruby to cope on your own for too long, and you needed to learn to look after your own child.'

'And now what?' Christopher's voice was rising, 'You'll go home and leave us again. Ruby will never be able to cope, then what?'

Jean was horrified that her son was such a defeatist, and she was angry. He was like a petulant child that wanted what he couldn't have. His mother to clean up after him; and no matter how hard it was for her to see her son hurting so much she was not going to sacrifice her life to pander to his self pity.

'I will stay until things are sorted out,' she tried to keep her voice level, 'whatever way that is. Maybe you need a nanny-housekeeper. I'll help you find one if you like.'

'I'm a lieutenant, mum, not a Brigadier!' He spat, 'I can't afford to employ someone to do my wife's work.'

Downstairs Lucien could hear the raised voices and it took all his self control not to go up and tell Christopher to man up! Before he could lose his patience the phone rang.

'Beazley residence,' Lucien announced. It was the hospital, not good news. Could they speak to Lieutenant Beazley. 'I'm his stepfather, and a doctor. What's going on?'

They had discovered bleeding in Ruby's brain and the damage was irreparable. She would never recover and they weren't sure how long she would live. Long term palliative care was all they could suggest.

Lucien hung up the phone and ran his hand through his hair. What were they going to do now? Christopher was not fit to look after a child he had less idea than Lucien, they would have to find a permanent residence for Ruby and that would cost him. He had to go and tell Christopher.

Jean had heard the phone ring and started to leave the room to see who had called. She met Lucien on the stairs and she could see by his expression it was not good news. He bent and kissed her, then went past her into Christopher. Although Jean would have to know he wasn't sure that she should be there when he told the young man.

Closing the door behind him he sat on the bed. He did his best to be kind, Christopher sat staring at him while he listened to the doctor give him the grim news.

'So that's it then.' Christopher mumbled, 'I'm on my own.' More tears ran down his cheeks.

'You're not on your own, you have your mother and me, and Amelia.' Lucien tried to reassure him. 'We'll do everything we can to help.' He patted his upper arm.

Christopher just looked up at him, Lucien's face was kind but the young soldier was lost in his own thoughts. Perhaps it would have been better if Ruby had died when she fell. To live, if you could call it living, as a vegetable was no life at all.

Jean knocked quietly and came into the room, she had heard what Lucien had said about Ruby's condition. She had taken the time to wipe her tears away, reckoning they would not help Christopher. She sat on the bed next to him and put her arms round his shoulder. Looking at Lucien she whispered,

'We need to find somewhere for Ruby to stay. Get her settled before we do anything else.' She had to be practical, she could rage at the world and cry and scream when she was alone with Lucien but now she had to be pragmatic.

'In the morning I'll have a talk to her doctors and see if they know of somewhere in Adelaide. I know of a place in Melbourne but that's too far away for Christopher.' He told them.

'Why is it too far for me?' Christopher questioned the doctor's thinking.

'You need to be able to visit her, and you are based here.' Lucien was not going to let him get away with not seeing his wife. The doctors may had said there was no chance of recovery, but where there was life, there was hope.

Christopher had barely visited her since she had been found. When he was supposed to be visiting he was usually wandering the streets until he deemed it time to go home. He wasn't going to let his mother know he couldn't sit there by her bed, staring at a shell. Lucien had told him to talk to her, but he hadn't known what to say, so he said nothing. But there was one other thing he couldn't do, or didn't want to do, and that was look after Amelia.

'Mum,' he looked at her, and tried to look past the hurt on her face, 'I can't look after Amelia. I want you to take her with you.'

'Christopher, she's your daughter.' Jean was willing to help and she loved Amelia but... oh she felt so selfish. When was she going to get her life?

'Mum, I couldn't help Ruby with her, how am I going to raise a daughter on my own?' He didn't want to look at that little face that reminded him of his wife, every day, he'd tried to avoid her for the past weeks, and it would be better if she was with his mother. She'd be well looked after, loved.

'Let's discuss this later, darling.' Lucien touched her arm. He wouldn't see the child abandoned but he knew Jean was looking forward to travelling. They had thought that a trip to Europe for a belated honeymoon would be good. Jean had always wanted to see something of the world and now it looked as if that plan would have to go on permanent hold.

Jean looked up at him and she knew what would happen; they'd take Amelia in, they'd put their life on hold and she'd never get to travel.

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So what's going to happen now? Another chapter is being written as you read this. Hope you like this one.


	3. Chapter 3 Leaving Ruby

Another chapter in this saga, a bit long and detailed; so what's new?

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Lucien spent the next day discussing with Ruby's doctors the best place to put her. For every address he was given for long term nursing care, he paid them a visit, ascertained whether or not they could care for Ruby to his exacting standards, what the cost would be and how easy it would be for Christopher to visit. It was a job Ruby's husband should have done but he confined himself to bawling at his troupe of men, coming back to the house, eating the meals his mother made and sleeping. He rarely visited his wife, he all but ignored Amelia who was now firmly attached to her grandmother. He had applied, without Jean or Lucien's knowledge, for quarters back in the barracks, giving up his married quarters.

Jean continued to run the house, as she would. She tended to Amelia more as a mother than a grandmother. She knew she would be raising the child as her own and had decided she had better get on with it, and she did love her. Lucien loved her and she loved him, together they would get through it.

Christopher was reluctant to discuss the situation with either of them until Lucien sat him down one evening and started to get firm with him.

'Right, young man.' Lucien said, 'I have looked at the best places for Ruby but you have to give the go ahead.'

Christopher looked sullen.

'Christopher,' Lucien put his hands on his shoulder and pulled the soldier to look at him, 'Ruby is your wife. You can't ignore this anymore. Your mother and I will look after Amelia.'

Jean had spent the nights following the news of Ruby's prognosis alternately crying, shouting at Lucien, and even throwing things in order to reconcile herself to the fact that her son was passing the problem on to them, her daughter in law had no chance of a life and her granddaughter needed her. And, yes, she had complained about the fact that her life had to go on hold, yet again, for her family. She wanted a life!

Lucien had to agree with her, it wasn't fair, it was about time she had the chance to live her life, and, even though they would take on Amelia he would do his darndest to see that she did, somehow.

Christopher reluctantly agreed to sign Ruby over to the most fitting home, the one Lucien thought would fill her needs best.

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Ruby was settled into the home. It was bright and friendly and Jean had to admit her husband has the girl's best interests at heart. Visiting was free and easy. Relatives could come and go as they pleased. Jean had insisted that Christopher accompany them when Ruby was settled in. Jean held Amelia in her arms and showed her to Ruby, talking to her all the time.

'You'll be comfortable here, Ruby.' She smiled as best she could, 'Christopher can visit you and we'll bring Amelia over when we can. I'll look after her, I promise.'

Christopher watched his mother do what he couldn't, and was sure this was the last time he would see his wife, even as his mother kissed Ruby's cheek, wishing her well.

Lucien put his arm around his wife and led her away, leaving Christopher standing there, mute.

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Christopher packed his kitbag and left the house before his mother was up. He hadn't the courage to let her know what he was going to do. He'd been given space in the barracks and applied for an overseas posting. The Family Liaison Officer would go to the house and tell his mother that the house was to be cleaned and vacated.

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Jean sat at the kitchen table and cried hot and frustrated tears when she realised what her son had done. She pushed Lucien away when he tried to comfort her, angry, sad, hurt. What had she done to deserve sons like these? One who could desert his wife when she was so in need of him and the other who got into trouble with the law and left girls in 'the family way'. Maybe Lucien was right, God had deserted his children, and in that brief moment she understood why he had turned from the church.

Lucien took Amelia into the lounge and played with her. Singing to her and tickling her until Jean had composed herself. When she came through, tearstained and exhausted, Lucien stood up and held the baby towards her. Jean took her and buried her face in Amelia's curls, taking in the smell of babyhood. She looked up and held out her hand to her husband; he pulled towards him and hugged the both of them tight.

'I'm sorry, Lucien' She sniffed, 'I just...'

'I know,' he kissed her, 'don't worry, everything will be fine.'

There was a knock on the door. Lucien opened it to see the Family Liaison Officer standing there.

'I've come to inspect the house,' she said. 'As it's to be vacated I need to check it is in proper order.'

Lucien stepped outside and closed the door.

'I know you have a job to do, but my wife has just found out her son has gone back to barracks and we have to sort out what we are to do with his possessions. Can't you give us a couple of days?'

'I have just been told to inspect the house, to see it is clean and ready for the next family.' She was cold and officious.

'Lieutenant Beazley's wife is in a nursing home, having suffered a life limiting injury. We need to see to the house and arrange for the baby's things to be transported to our home in Ballarat. The house will be cleaned, you will not be disappointed.' He smiled.

'Major Blake,' it was Christopher's CO 'is there a problem?'

'I was just trying to appeal to this FLO's better nature.' Lucien held out his hand to the officer. 'We would appreciate a couple of days to sort out the house. My wife, Lieutenant Beazley's mother, and I have just learnt that he has returned to barracks.'

'Well , I think that is eminently reasonable, don't you?' He addressed the FLO, 'Especially given the circumstances.'

'Sir, yes Sir,' She saluted and turned smartly on her heels, marching crisply down the path.

Lucien invited the CO in.

'How is Mrs Blake bearing up?' He asked.

'Just about,' Lucien answered, 'but she won't show it to strangers. Jean lost her first husband, Christopher's father, during the war, the Malay Peninsula, she has got into the habit of getting on with it.'

In the kitchen, Jean was preparing Amelia's breakfast when Lucien and the officer went in.

'Jean,' Lucien introduced the officer and she, true to form, offered tea.

The officer offered his sympathies over the situation and said he would keep an eye on young Beazley.

'Thank you, sir,' she said, 'I don't know what he will do apart from immerse himself in the army. We will take care of the baby, she will want for nothing.'

'You seem to be typical of an army wife, Mrs Blake,' the officer remarked, 'and yet I believe you weren't ever such.'

'No,' she smiled, 'My first husband joined up during the war and left me to run the farm, so I've never had to live on base. I'll clean the house and we'll take the baby's things but we don't need any of the other things. My daughter in law's clothes have been sent to the nursing home and it appears Christopher has taken what he wants.'

He rose, thanked her for the tea and left, feeling he had met the best the world could offer in Dr and Mrs Blake, and that Lieutenant Beazley was a very lucky young man and he would make sure he reminded him of it, frequently.

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Jean and Lucien started by cleaning the upstairs. Ruby wasn't as good a housekeeper as Jean, but it was passable. Lucien moved the furniture for her, then held Amelia out of the way while she vacuumed. Then Jean held Amelia while he put the furniture back. By lunchtime it was done. Anything they were taking with them in the way of linen had been folded and put on the bed in the room Jean used. She and Lucien were going to use the master bedroom for the last night. They had decided that they would have Amelia in bed with them that night as they could then arrange for the cot, highchair and other large things that wouldn't go in Lucien's car to be taken over to Ballarat. Charlie had been warned that the things would be arriving before them.

Lucien had arranged for a small removal company to come over after they had finished to take everything they had decided to take. They duly arrived that afternoon and loaded everything into the van, even the pram went.

Jean decided to do the downstairs rooms the following day, the kitchen would be the last they would do.

Lucien suggested they go for a walk. They needed a break. He carried Amelia, as they had to put the pram in the removal van, and they strolled down to the park and Jean spread a blanket on the ground. She leant against a tree and closed her eyes, drinking in the warm spring sun. Lucien kept an eye on Amelia and smiled as he realised that Jean had fallen asleep, she must be close to exhaustion.

He was glad he had made some sneaky phone calls to Ballarat. During one of the calls Charlie said they had quite a bit of post and he was sure one was from Mattie. It was addressed to Lucien, not Jean, which was unusual. Lucien had instructed him to open it, it was short. Mattie was coming home and wondered if she could come back to them. She needed a job of course, but if they could accommodate her, as soon as she found work she would start to pay her board again. Lucien had, what could only be described as a 'light bulb moment.'

'Ring her, please, Charlie,' he urged, 'tell her she is more than welcome and I might have an idea for a post for her. Ask her how she would feel about being a nanny to Amelia at least temporarily? Jean's pretty much wrung out, running on adrenalin only. I'd like to take her away , we've never had a honeymoon.'

Charlie had thought it was an excellent idea. When he put it to Mattie she said she'd be delighted, and he passed the information on to Lucien.

Lucien reflected on this as he watched Jean snooze. Amelia had decided he wasn't paying her enough attention and tried to crawl up onto his knee. He picked her up and help her high making her giggle. The giggle woke Jean and she gave a big smile as she watch her husband in that instant be more of a father to the child than her son had been; especially over the last few weeks.

'Enjoy your nap?' Lucien grinned.

'Sorry, didn't realise I was so tired.' She stretched. 'We'd better get back, madam there will want feeding.'

'Don't rush, she's fine,' Lucien held up a packet of biscuits he'd sneaked out of the house.

'Lucien,' Jean sighed, 'you'll spoil her appetite.'

'Just for once, let's not worry too much about proper meals, she won't suffer. Relax, Jean.' He crawled over to her and kissed her cheek.

Jean knew he was right, and moved so she was closer to him, all the better to return the kiss, properly.

'People will talk,' Lucien quipped, she wasn't usually so forward in public.

'Let them,' she said, 'we're leaving tomorrow.'

They sat there on the blanket, Amelia safe in his arms and kissed, deeply, becoming lost in each other, long enough for passersby to raise their eyebrows at the sight of a middle aged couple in a passionate embrace with a baby between them.

Jean realised it had been days since they had been so loving; she'd concentrated on not wringing Christopher's neck and being frustrated at the situation they found themselves in, that she felt she'd neglected her husband. Not once had he complained, all he'd done was support her and her son. She rested her head on his chest and whispered,

'I'm sorry.'

'What for?' He looked down at her solemn face.

'I've neglected you, and I've been horribly bad tempered.' She looked into his clear blue eyes and blinked away tears.

'It's alright,' he squeezed her waist, 'I'll get you back when we get home. For now we have things to do and places to go, so...'

Jean stood up and smiled down at him, in spite of everything she really was very lucky. Lucien passed Amelia up to Jean so he could get up, and folded the blanket. They started to walk back to the house, hand in hand, slowly. The closer to the house they got the more Jean's shoulders slumped. She would be so glad to get home, home to Ballarat, to Charlie and Alice, even to the still sniping gossips. Lucien lifted her hand to his lips as they went up to the front door.

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Jean cleared away the dishes after dinner, while Lucien put Amelia in the bed. He waited until she was fast asleep before he left her, hoping she would not wriggle around too much and fall out. He tucked the bedclothes tight round her to hopefully hold her in place until he and Jean went to bed.

In the kitchen, Jean had found a box in the larder which she could use to put any leftover food in the next day. It would have to go in Lucien's car, she was going by train with Amelia; neither fancied a seven hour drive with a seven month old. He'd arranged for Charlie to pick her up from the station when she got back to Ballarat. As much as he hated to do it he would have to leave Jean on her own to deal with the Liaison Officer. He needed to get a head start if he was to get to Ballarat in daylight. He'd be later than Jean but that couldn't be helped. He'd organised a taxi and paid for it to get Jean to the station on time. She would have her handbag, a basket of snacks and a drink for Amelia and Amelia. She said she could manage that. He would take everything else in the car, leaving her with a light lunch for her and the baby. Jean would only have to wash up the plates and glass the two used and then she would be done.

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In spite of having a little one between them in bed they managed to get a reasonable night's sleep. Jean was up early as usual and after a quick breakfast they got on with cleaning the living room and kitchen. That was all that was left to do. Lucien loaded all the remaining things into the car. The house looked very bare, cold and empty, but clean. It was mid morning when Lucien had to leave. They stood in the living room holding each other tight. Jean didn't cry, she wanted to but she wasn't going to let him go with the image of her in tears on the doorstep. If she had a little weep when he was gone, well that was ok, she thought. After he left, she took Amelia into the garden until lunchtime. The FLO was due mid afternoon, giving Jean enough time to catch the train which would get her home just in time for dinner. She liked the idea of walking into her home to the smell of one of Charlie's roasts. So she focussed on that. She wondered if she could get Charlie to put the cot up in Lucien's old room. She wanted to spend the night in Lucien's arms only.

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Jean washed the few pots she had used for lunch and settled down on the couch with Amelia. She was amazed at how Amelia was taking all this. She didn't see bothered that mummy and daddy weren't around. Jean supposed that because she had been there for Amelia's first month the child had formed a bond that she should have formed with her mother. Or, her grandmother was just a good parent, after all.

The FLO arrived exactly on time. She put on a pair of white gloves and ran her fingers over every surface, the tops of doors the skirting boards, pursing her lips when she could find no sign of dust anywhere!

'It will do.' She said, disappointed she could find no cause to complain. Jean handed over the keys just as the taxi arrived.

'Good bye,' Jean extended her hand to the officer who had to take it. She had a feeling Jean or her husband might put in a complaint if she was rude.

Picking up the little she had to carry Jean went out to the taxi,

'Come on, sweetie,' she said to Amelia, 'let's go home.'

The train was on time, which was good. Jean didn't fancy waiting on the platform with a baby who had had enough of being carried and wanted to have a roll round on the floor. She found a quiet carriage with a corner seat. As the train sped along she talked to Amelia, pointing things out , out of the window. Amelia quickly got bored, Jean's plan, and fell asleep on her knee. Jean also dozed, but fitfully, she was aware Amelia could slide off her lap. Amelia woke grizzly, so Jean offered her the drink she had brought with her and a biscuit. She'd have to restrict the number of biscuits she had when she got her into a proper routine, Lucien was far too good at spoiling her!

'Ballarat Station!' The guard called, 'Ballarat Station!'

She gathered her things and disembarked. There was Charlie, waiting patiently on the platform. He was swiftly at her side, taking the basket off her and taking her to the car.

'Jean.' He grinned, noting she looked tired, dark circles under her eyes, and she had lost weight. 'How are you?'

'Tired,' she knew nothing escaped Charlie so she might as well admit it.

'Well you don't have to do anything at home. Dinners in the oven, Amelia's cot is in the doc's old room, you can just put your feet up.'

Jean smiled, she didn't even have to ask him to put up the cot, it seems Charlie had thought of everything.

'Thank you, Charlie, for once I think I'd like that.'

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Charlie helped her out of the car and opened the front door. The smell wafting from the kitchen was very inviting.

'We're back!' Charlie called.

Jean wondered who he was calling to, Lucien wouldn't be back yet. Maybe Alice was still there after surgery. But it wasn't Alice that entered the hallway, it was Mattie. Jean nearly dropped Amelia as Mattie ran to her and wrapped her in a tight hug. Alice was there but it had been agreed that Mattie would greet her first.

'Mattie?' Jean whispered, 'Mattie! Oh Mattie!' and she burst into tears.

'Come on,' Mattie put her arm round her and took her through to the living room.

In the living room Mattie helped Jean out of her coat and Alice brought a tray of tea in.

'So this is Amelia,' Mattie said, looking at the startled child. 'Well, Amelia,' she held out her arms to her, 'how about you come and sit on my knee while Grandma has some tea.' Mattie had a bright string of beads round her neck and Amelia made a grab for them. Mattie laughed and took them off for the child to play with. Amelia decided they looked tasty, but most of all they were hard and nice to bite down on when your gums are sore. Jean smiled at the sight of Mattie taking so easily to the baby, and it was nice to be able to drink a cup of tea without worrying about spilling a hot drink over her. She looked up at Alice, standing there with her arms folded, quite stern.

'Umm, Alice?' Jean didn't like being watched like that. 'Is something wrong?'

'Yes.' Alice was a good friend but she could be rather blunt sometimes and Jean had a feeling this was one of those times. 'You are exhausted. Mattie will take care of Amelia tonight, you are going to have a nice warm, relaxing bath and go to bed.'

Jean looked startled at this 'order.'

'I like the idea of the bath, but I'm not going to bed at least not until Lucien gets back!'

Alice crouched down and took Jean's hand in hers,' Jean you need to rest. At least lie down after your bath.'

'Well,' Jean hadn't the strength to argue,' alright, but here on the couch.'

Alice gave in to that, she was of the opinion that she would probably fall asleep anyway.

Jean headed for the bathroom and did as she was told. Her nightwear was already on the radiator and fresh towels were laid out for her. It made her smile, the love and thought that had gone into preparing the house for her homecoming.

She wandered down the stairs much later. She'd only got out of the bath because the water started to go cold. He hair was wet, towel dried and the natural curl framed her face making her look elfin and fragile. She could hear Mattie in the kitchen telling Amelia she was a messy little madam, and Amelia giggling with delight. It was a lovely sound and lifted her heart. She stood watching the young nurse expertly deal with her granddaughter. She had a feeling Charlie and Lucien had a hand in Mattie being there and she was glad. If Mattie was staying she would be a great help with Amelia. She coughed to announce her presence.

'Feeling better?' Asked Mattie with a big smile.

'Lots, thank you. And thank you for putting out my night things.' Jean went over to the high chair as Amelia held up her arms to be picked up.

'Hang on a minute, young lady,' said Mattie, 'Grandma's lovely and clean and you're covered in your dinner. Let's wipe you down first.' She laughed as Amelia resisted the cloth, blowing raspberries into it as Mattie wiped her face.

Jean laughed, the first real laugh she'd given for weeks, it felt so good. She picked her out of the chair and hugged her tight, kissing the curls as the baby put her arms round Jean's neck. She smelt of baby soap. Mattie must have given her a bath in the kitchen sink, well why not? It was how she'd bathed the boys when they were Amelia's age. For once that thought didn't hurt quite so much. Amelia was also dressed ready to go to bed. Mattie it would appear had thought of everything.

'You don't want a job, do you?' Jean asked, hopefully.

'Got one,' Mattie replied cheerfully and as Jean's face fell she added, 'I'm Amelia's, temporary, nanny.'

'What, when, how?' Jean couldn't have been more confused.

'Lucien asked me when I said I was coming home and needed a job.' Mattie grinned, 'He thought you might appreciate the help and it would leave you able to do what you need to do without worrying about her. How long is up to you.'

Jean was still staring open mouthed at Mattie, taking in the news that she had been organised when the front door opened.

'Anyone home?'

Jean whirled round and ran up the hallway to Lucien's waiting arms which he wrapped around her, so glad to see the change in her. Still looking tired but happier.

'Oh Lucien, I'm so glad you're home,' she reached up and kissed him, 'was the journey alright? Are you tired?' The questions came out in a rush.

'Jean, Jean, calm down.' He laughed at her. 'It was long and tiring, but I'm home now.'

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Amelia was put to bed. Jean knew she would sleep through, she was a happier little girl than the one she had brought out of Adelaide. Charlie and Alice unloaded the car and put the suitcases in the Blake's room, the box of food went into the kitchen and Mattie found somewhere to put it all.

The adults sat down to eat, Jean was not allowed to do anything; Alice was made to stay. Jean and Lucien told the story of what had happened to Ruby, what Christopher had done, Jean shed a few tears, but compared to what she'd shed over the past weeks it was barely noticeable, and Lucien squeezed her hand every time the tears started. She smiled at him and squeezed his in return. The story was only going to be told once to their close friends, anyone else who asked where Amelia had come from would be told she was Jean's granddaughter and her mother was too ill to care for her.

Alice left after helping Charlie and Mattie wash up and tidy the kitchen. Charlie and Mattie joined the doctor and his wife for an evening sherry and whisky, something that Jean and Lucien had not done all the time they were in Adelaide, it was nice and normal.

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Later that night as Jean cuddled up to her husband she asked him a question he didn't expect.

'Lucien, you know I will always feel guilty about Ruby?' Lucien started to object. 'Wait. I'd like to visit her regularly, say once a month, with Amelia. I'm sure Christopher will not go to see her and I think that if there is a chance she can make any sort of recovery this will help.'

Lucien turned and propped himself up on one elbow, looking at her quizzically.

'Are you sure?' He didn't want her to go through any more heartache, but if she was to let go of some of the guilt this was probably the best way.

'Yes.' It was such a definite affirmation.

'Alright, we'll sort it out.' He kissed her. 'Are you tired?'

'A bit, but not that much.' There was a wicked twinkle in her eye and she proceeded to show Lucien just how sorry she was for neglecting him.

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There will be another chapter, I feel the need to tie it all up. Reviews and comments welcome. Have I gone in the right direction? It feels a bit tragic.


	4. Chapter 4 Travelling

Jean woke suddenly as the sun streamed through a gap in the curtains. She stretched and smiled as she realised where she was, and that it was some weeks since she had woken up without her nightclothes on! She was wrapped in Lucien's strong arms; draped over him. She lifted her head to see he was awake and smiling also.

'Good morning.' He whispered, 'sleep well?'

Her answer was to move up so she could kiss him. Her wriggling up his body was enticing and he was more than willing to give in to the unspoken invitation.

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Lucien looked at her, sleeping. A slight smile on her lovely face, her lashes bouncing up off her cheeks. He slid his hand under the sheet and pulled her naked body close to him, she stirred and turned to rest in the crook of his arm, but did not wake. Lucien could just see his watch, it was seven thirty, Jean never slept that late, he grinned, glad that she could relax enough to sleep without worrying about Amelia, Christopher or Ruby. She badly needed the sleep. At times in Adelaide he had worried for her, she had worked so hard to keep from thinking about what was happening, sleep had eluded her night after night, tears and temper had replaced it. Now she could sleep as long as she wanted. Mattie would see to Amelia, she didn't have to rise at the crack of dawn, if she didn't want to.

A soft knock at the door brought him out of his reverie.

'Yes,' he answered softly.

'It's only me,' Mattie called through the door, just loud enough for Lucien to hear. 'I've made some tea. I'll leave the tray outside the door.'

'Thank you.' How sweet of her, not to want to embarrass Jean, or himself, by seeing them as they were.

He slid out of the bed, doing his best not to disturb his wife, and went to get the tea.

As he took the tray back to the bed, Jean stirred and opened her eyes.

'Tea? Lovely.' She smiled.

'Yes, Mattie left the tray outside the door.' Lucien answered.

'Just as well,' Jean raised her eyebrows, Lucien hadn't bothered to put anything on.

Lucien actually blushed at the thought that Mattie might have see more than was seemly. Jean burst out laughing and Lucien joined her, almost dropping the tray.

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'Thank you for the tea, Mattie,' Jean said as she appeared in the kitchen, washed and fully clothed.

'My pleasure.' Mattie smiled. 'Amelia's had her breakfast, I thought I'd take her for a walk into town. Would you like to join us?'

'You know I might,' Jean said. 'The house is tidy and there won't be surgery 'til this afternoon.'

'Good,' Mattie grinned. We could have a stroll round the gardens.'

'I'll just get breakfast sorted.' Jean said, she was more hungry than she had been for weeks.

'I'll do that, why don't you play with Amelia?' Mattie suggested and while Jean was surprised at the reversal of roles she agreed. 'Lucien said you were to be pampered for a while, allowed to take it easy. You deserve a break.'

'Thank you, I think.' Jean smiled and lifted her granddaughter out of her high chair. Amelia giggled happily and reached her arms round Jean's neck. Jean took the bib off her, wiping the last remnants of her breakfast off her face with it and took her into the living room. While she sat on the floor playing with the baby she mused they needed a safe place for her to play when surgery was in progress. They couldn't have a baby crawling around, unsupervised. She'd either hurt herself or break something. She supposed that would be when Mattie really took over. Her thoughts were interrupted by Lucien wandering through for his breakfast. He crouched down to her level and stroked the baby's head.

'Alright?' He whispered, she looked very thoughtful.

'Mmm...I was thinking, when surgery is on Amelia needs a safe place to play where she can't hurt herself or break something.' Jean looked into his eyes.

'Oh, we'll think of something. Anyway, we have a nanny, don't we? Maybe she can come up with an idea.' He leant forward and kissed her. He'd missed the spontaneous nature of their relationship and was going to take every opportunity to show her how much he loved her, even if it was just quick kisses as they passed around the house, touching hands, a quick squeeze when no one was looking, and even if they were, he needed her to know, that whatever life threw their way, he would always love her.

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They had been home for three weeks when Jean suggested it was time for her to make her first visit to Ruby. She had phoned the home twice a week to check on her condition, and to ask if there had been any change. Always it was the same reply, she was comfortable, but no change. Lucien worried that this depressed her but she assured him she would learn to cope with it. She was not going to abandon the girl, she was family, and you do not abandon family.

They arranged a weekend in Adelaide, taking Amelia with them and giving Mattie the time off. They would visit Ruby, taking anything she needed in the way of toiletries and clothes. The home had said she was low on toothpaste, soap and shampoo. That showed they were taking proper care of her , Lucien said. They had found a hotel that had a cot they could put in a double room, which suited them, it was only for two nights. They travelled by train, it was a shorter trip than by car.

The hotel was a small family run establishment and was used to having small children as guests. Jean and Lucien found it suited them nicely.

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They decided to visit Ruby the following afternoon and spent the morning strolling round Adelaide, the hotel had lent them a pram so at least they didn't have to carry Amelia everywhere.

After a light lunch at a small cafe they headed to the Nursing Home with some trepidation. Jean was more nervous than Lucien; he put his 'doctor's hat' on, it was easier that way.

Lucien took her hand and smiled, 'It's alright, Jean.' She looked up at him, 'You're just visiting a sick relative.'

'I know,' she picked Amelia out of the pram and took the required toiletries resting in the basket under the pram. She took a very deep breath, squared her shoulders and entered the nursing home.

'Good afternoon, I'd like to see Ruby Beazley,' she said to the nurse on the front desk, 'I'm her mother in law.'

'Of course, it's Mrs Blake, isn't it?' The nurse was bright and friendly, instantly putting Jean at her ease. Lucien was close behind, just in case Jean needed support. 'Dr Blake?' The nurse noticed him standing there, apart but close.

'Yes,' Jean replied, holding her granddaughter tight, 'This is Amelia, Ruby's daughter.'

'What a sweetie!' The nurse smiled.

Jean was shown through to Ruby. She was in a room with two other women in a similar state.

Jean smiled at her, she looked clean and tidy. Her hair had been brushed and her clothes were clean and pressed.

'Hello Ruby, how are you?' Jean did not expect a reply and didn't get one. She sat down in the chair next to Ruby's bed and held Amelia up to her. 'I've brought Amelia to see you, she's been ever such a good girl, you should be proud of her.' Jean lifted the child up and placed her on her mother's bed. Amelia snuggled close, it was nap time and any warm place was good enough for her. Jean lifted Ruby's arm and wrapped it round the baby. Ruby's eyes were almost dead but Jean thought there was a very faint flicker of recognition. It could have been her imagination, her hope, but Lucien had said that where there was life there was hope and she had said that if Ruby was to have even the smallest chance of recovery she had to do this every month.

Jean chatted to Ruby, telling her what Amelia had been getting up to, that she had a part time nanny who loved her, that she was loved by her and Lucien. She said Amelia seemed happy and contented. She was cutting teeth quickly and each one caused her some pain, but they had found a way to help her through it. She told anecdotes about people Ruby had never met but she felt she had to let Ruby know there was a world out there that would wait for her to rejoin it, if she wanted to.

They left after an hour. Amelia had woken up and was fidgety so Jean reckoned it was time to go. she handed the baby to Lucien and leant over to kiss her daughter in law.

'We'll be back soon, Ruby,' Jean whispered as she squeezed her hand.

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'Do you think she heard me?' Jean asked her husband as they walked away from the home.

'Honestly, Jean, I don't know, but we have to try. We can't give up hope, can we?' Lucien accepted that Ruby would never fully recover, or even recover enough to communicate, but Jean didn't need to know this. What Jean needed to believe was that maybe, just maybe Ruby may one day at least make one small gesture that would let them know she could hear them. Lucien felt the visits would do Jean more good than Ruby, and he was happy to indulge her.

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They left Adelaide after Jean had been to Sunday Mass. It was important to her to try to believe in a god of some sort, but after all these years she was now worried that really god was something inside you. Not a higher being but the way you loved others, believed in them, that was faith. Lucien had lost his belief in god, and after what had happened she understood him more. He had more faith in his fellow man, which given what he had gone through was interesting, than in the almighty.

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The taxi dropped them back at the house after a delayed train journey. Amelia was fractious and Jean wanted to get her fed, bathed and into bed. She herself wanted to curl up next to her husband and reflect on their trip. She doubted it would get easier but she was determined to continue as long as Ruby was with them.

Mattie and Charlie were waiting for them when they entered the house. Everything they needed was waiting for them, a meal in the oven for the adults, once the child had been attended to. Jean and Mattie fed and bathed Amelia, it gave Jean the time to talk to her young friend and tell her how Ruby was. Mattie noticed Jean seemed happy that Ruby was being taken good care of. The home had told her that Christopher had actually visited once. He'd not been available to see them, he'd told them he was busy with work. Jean accepted it sadly, but Lucien wasn't so sure and decided he'd put a call in to his CO. He was a reasonable man and had been kind the day they'd had to fend off the Liaison Officer. The officer was surprised Beazley had not asked for at least an hour's leave to see his mother when she was in town. He suggested that next time they planned to visit Lucien contact him and he would ensure he could meet up with them.

'Thank you, Sir.' Lucien said, 'I know my wife would appreciate that. I'm going to take her away for a well deserved, but belated honeymoon, soon. I'll arrange to be in Adelaide on the way back. If you need to get a message to us you have my number. There will always be someone in the house. While we are away Mattie, Amelia's nanny can always take a message.'

'I'll make a note of that. Enjoy your holiday.' The CO signed off cheerfully.

Lucien hadn't told Jean about their trip, he was going to surprise her a couple of days before they went. She'd bemoaned the fact that he had insisted she get a passport when they married and she'd never had chance to use it.

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Jean caught Lucien getting suitcases out of the loft. Bigger than the ones they used when they went to Adelaide.

'Lucien?' She questioned him, 'what are you doing?'

'Oh, hello Jean.' He turned and passed her a case, 'here grab this will you.'

She took the case and put it on the floor.

'Right, that should be enough.' He pulled the loft hatch back on place and picked up the cases to take them to their room.

Jean followed, what on earth was he up to? 'Lucien?' She called.

She caught up with him in their room. 'Lucien, what's going on?' She put her hands on her hips, defying him to continue ignoring her question.

'Thought it was about time you used that passport of yours.' He kissed her cheek and went to get clothes out of his chest of drawers.

'What?' She took his arm and turned him round to face her, she noticed he had that cheeky look in his eye and she thought she was going to like his explanation of his behaviour.

'Well, Amelia is settled, she and Mattie get on well together, so I thought we'd go on that belated honeymoon. We'll be gone a month, finishing our trip in Adelaide.' He smiled and wrapped his arms round her.

'Oh Lucien.' She breathed.

'How do you fancy Paris and London?'

Her answer was to pull him into a passionate kiss. 'Thank you.' She whispered as she broke the connection.

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Jean waved as she got into the taxi with Lucien. She was as excited as a child, he thought. Mattie had assured them that Amelia would be fine and given the way she had bonded with the child even Jean was content to leave her granddaughter with her for a month.

She sat holding Lucien's hand, they were finally going to get a honeymoon. No one was going to interrupt their days and nights with urgent calls to attend dead bodies or panicking children. Just the two of them for a whole month.

Everything was going to be so new; she'd never flown before, never sailed before and she was about to do both. Lucien had said it would be a long flight before they landed in France. Then he'd show her Paris before whisking her off to London.

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She had to admit, to herself only, she wasn't keen on flying. It was long and tedious, even with Lucien suggesting places they could go, and the break in the flight, she would be glad when it was over. They landed in Paris and she couldn't be happier to be on terra firma again, even if she wasn't sure what day it was.

Lucien had booked a lovely hotel, their room had its own bathroom, a luxury. He suggested she treat herself to a long soak to ease the tension of the journey. She liked the idea very much and went to fill the bath. It was huge; room for a small family she thought, or two adults!

She added some bubble bath and slid into the warm water. She sighed and closed her eyes. In the back of her mind she thought she heard a pop. Moments later the bathroom door opened and Lucien poked his head round, smirking. He'd had pretty much the same idea about the size of the bath but was unsure if Jean would appreciate being disturbed at a time like that. He'd decided he's risk it, but he was feeling terribly romantic and the pop that Jean thought she'd heard was the sound of a champagne cork.

Jean turned her head, slowly. Lucien never came into the bathroom at home when she was in there, but there he was, smiling, holding two glasses of champagne and looking hopeful.

She smiled and lowered her eyes seductively. He took the drinks over to her and leant down to kiss her.

'Need a back rub?' He asked, suggestively.

Jean smiled and inclined her head towards the water. 'You'll get wet.' She whispered.

'Oh I think I can sort that out.' He left the room and returned swiftly wearing his robe and carrying the bottle of champagne. Putting the bottle down within reach of the bath and slipping his robe off he slid behind Jean and proceeded to massage her tired shoulders.

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Lucien realised the water had begun to grow cold, he'd been so intent on ministering to his wife's wants and needs that he'd not noticed until Jean gave a slight shiver. He got out of the bath and wrapped a towel round his waist and grabbing a large towel for Jean held it out to her while she also got out. He wrapped the towel round her and lifted her into his arms, carrying her through into the bedroom. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

Lying her down on the bed he thought she looked so beautiful. Her hair was naturally curly and she had taken to allowing it to dry naturally after washing it, instead of going to the hairdresser every week. Now as she lay there her damp curls slid away from her face and spread out, like a dark halo, round her head.

He lay next to her and kissed her. She put her arms round his neck and pulled him down to her. He moved one hand inside the towel to touch her warm, still damp skin and she moved her hand down to his towel and undid the roll that held it in place.

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Lucien leant up on his elbow to gaze at this wonder before him; sleeping, her chest rising and falling under the sheet he had draped over her. How did he manage to get so lucky, a beautiful woman who stood by him, even when he made the biggest of 'stuff ups' as Matthew would call them. Maybe, just maybe there was a god, after all! She stirred and turned towards him, moving against his chest and placing her hands on him. He wrapped his arms around her, he didn't ever want to leave this moment.

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He didn't know how long he lay there gazing at her, but she eventually opened one eye and smiled and stretched. He loved the way she did that, stretched. She somehow managed to lightly touch his legs and run her feet down as far as she could and tantalised him. Sometimes it was a tease, sometimes she meant it.

'Hello, lover.' She murmured.

'You lovely, wicked woman,' he smiled lovingly.

Her only reply was to giggle and roll out of bed taking the sheet with her, leaving him wearing nothing but a smile. While she was in the bathroom Lucien turned to the clock on the bedside table; six-thirty, and judging by the light outside, evening, not morning. Jean would be needing dinner, and come to think of it, he was pretty hungry, too. She came out of the bathroom wearing the robe she had retrieved from the back of the bathroom door.

'Dinner?' Lucien asked.

'Ooh, yes, I am a bit peckish,' she admitted with a grin, though she wasn't sure what she would be given to eat in France.

They dressed and went down to the restaurant and were accommodated at a secluded corner table. Lucien ordered for her, choosing food that she would like, rather than something completely odd, such as escargots. He'd always rather liked the earthy taste and determined to order them at some point and get her to try one.

Lucien poured her a second glass of wine,

'Are you trying to get me tipsy, Dr Blake?' She laughed.

'Didn't think I needed to.' he opened his eyes wide at her and grinned.

After dinner Lucien took her for a walk. The strolled arm in arm along the banks of the Seine, Jean drinking in the twinkling lights reflected in the water, and the sounds of the odd singer, serenading the public from under a bridge or sitting on a wall.

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They spent over a week in Paris. Lucien took her to the theatre, on a riverboat down the Seine and over to Notre Dame. She drank in everything, gazing in wonder almost like a child. Lucien enjoyed her wonder. She had asked to be 'educated', to be shown art and architecture. They had wandered through Montmartre and she had wondered at the artists working. Lucien had made her sit for an artist and to humour him she did. The finished picture was of a pretty woman with loose curls and a charming smile, and over her shoulder peered a proud man with beard, twinkling eyes and adoring smile. The artist had noticed the relationship and the love between the two and had decided to add a little extra into the picture which he hoped would please Madame. Lucien paid him almost twice the asking price and Jean gave him a beautiful smile and a 'Merci.' The artist rose and kissed her hand saying she was 'une belle femme'. Jean looked at Lucien for reassurance and he beamed proudly that another man thought she was beautiful. He took the picture and thanked the man, shaking his hand.

Jean and Lucien walked hand in hand back to the hotel where Lucien found it fitted nicely into the base of one of the suitcases. He would have it framed when they got back home.

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They boarded the Golden Arrow train from Paris to Calais, then on to London from Dover. The journey was overnight, which suited them both, allowing them to sleep instead of wasting precious daylight hours. Jean wanted to see so much, sure that this was her last chance to see something of the world. It made Lucien laugh sometimes and she chided him for making fun of her. But he said it made him see things in a different light, showing someone else places he had seen, and seeing those places through her eyes. The sailing from Calais to Dover was relatively short and smooth. Lucien and she stood on deck and he pointed out that as soon as the coastline of France disappeared the White Cliffs of Dover rose into view. It took her mind off her slight seasickness!

As they disembarked from the ferry Jean looked around her. the only time she saw the coast was Adelaide or some sandy shore. Dover was a seaport with containers, other ships, very industrial to her eyes. Lucien guided her through customs and on to the train for the second part of their trip.

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Their next hotel was luxurious and although their room again had its own bathroom the bath wasn't big enough for two! 'Shame,' said Jean, smiling cheekily.

'S'ok.' Lucien replied, 'I can still rub your back!'

She laughed and agreed that would work.

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London was quite different from Paris, the streets were less wide for a start. They were busy and Jean found herself holding Lucien's hand tight as she was jostled with the ever present calls of 'Sorry,' and 'Excuse me,' and 'Pardon me,' ringing in her ears. True to form Jean wanted to learn about the history of London so Lucien took her to galleries and museums. But Jean loved music, her love of music had become apparent to Lucien when she sang to Bobby Lee's song as he played, turning a rock and roll tune into a ballad. Lucien managed to get tickets to see the newest musical showing, 'Oliver,' as well as 'The Mousetrap.' 'The Mousetrap' intrigued her but she'd know Lucien too long and worked out the answer before the end, he laughed and congratulated her on her detecting skills, suggesting he ask Matthew, or whoever was in charge of Ballarat Police, to enrol Jean as a Senior Detective. Jean playfully hit his arm and said all they wanted was a regular supply of shortbread! She loved 'Oliver!', she cried when 'Where is love?' was sung, telling Lucien later that night in their room that maybe that should be her song, because she had wondered for a long time, where love was. He'd kissed her and told her he would always love her.

All too soon their trip was over and they were heading for Adelaide. This time Jean really didn't cope with the flights. She was airsick, very airsick. Lucien was sorry that his was how her trip of a lifetime ended.

'Sorry,' she gulped, 'It wasn't this bad last time.'

Lucien had another 'light bulb' moment. Since they had come home from Adelaide after Ruby's accident there hadn't been a time when Jean had 'refused' him. He was a doctor, for heaven's sake. Get a grip Lucien! he told himself, she can't be! But there again, why not; she wasn't that old.

He leaned over to her and whispered a question in her ear.

'Don't be ridiculous, Lucien,' She paused to vomit again, 'I'm forty six!'

'Jean...' He mentioned certain things he had noticed.

'Oh, god!' She looked at him in astonishment, he could be right. There was nothing to suggest she was going through 'the change'; no hot flushes for instance.

He leant back with an infuriatingly smug look on his face. 'Just saying.' He closed his eyes for a quick nap.

Jean also leant back in her seat,' Bloody hell!' She cursed, and that was not something Jean Blake did.

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OK so now we get to the usual conclusion, but I'll try to put a twist on it.


	5. Chapter 5 Ruby

They landed in Adelaide in the early morning. Jean was so very tired all she wanted to do was sleep but she had no idea where Lucien had booked a hotel. He hailed a taxi and gave instructions while loading their luggage into the trunk.

'Oh, Lucien,' She sighed, 'Thank you for a wonderful trip, but, darling, I'm so very glad to be back in Australia.'

'So am I,' he agreed, looking at her, she was worn out, probably from 'airsickness' more than anything else, but to him she was still the most beautiful thing her had ever seen.

They pulled up at the hotel they had used when they last visited Ruby. Jean was glad, it wasn't luxurious but it was comfortable and homely, just what she wanted, and she knew he had arranged it so she could visit her daughter in law before going home to Ballarat. She was just sorry she would not have Amelia with her.

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Jean slept long and deep when they were settled in their room, which, for Lucien was good, he had just one thing left to do. It was not he who had booked the room, but Mattie. He had called ahead to say when they would be landing and asked her to book a room for him and Jean and a room for herself and Amelia. He needed to meet with the nanny to see how Amelia was before she was taken to her grandmother.

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Lucien was sitting in the foyer of the hotel when Mattie arrived. Amelia appeared to have grown and was desperate to get out of Mattie's arms. Trains and taxis were too restricting for the active child and she was determined to make her own way in the world.

'Lucien!' She called as she entered the hotel.

He went quickly to her to relieve her of her burden, and was happy to see Amelia recognised him. She instantly wriggled her fingers into his beard and giggled.

'How's Jean?' Was the first thing Mattie asked, then 'Did you have a good trip?'

'Hello, to you too,' Lucien was surprised and pleased at the way Mattie greeted him. The interest, born out of love, for Jean's health, as she wasn't there with him and the joy in her voice. 'Jean's fine, just tired. She was airsick on the way home.'

'It's quite a long flight for your first.' Mattie remarked.

'True, but she was ok on the way over.' He told her, intimating in few words that he thought Jean was...

'Pregnant!' Mattie couldn't hide the idea and voiced it loudly.

'Mattie!' he cautioned in a loud whisper, 'She's barely got over the idea herself.'

'Sorry,' Mattie smiled, 'I'll just book in and then shall we have some tea?'

'Good idea.'

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In their bedroom Jean stirred and was surprised to find she was alone. Lucien usually watched over her when she slept so it was unusual to find he was not there. She stretched and rolled over, deciding she had better rouse herself. She was thirsty and thought that she would go downstairs to find some tea. She could easily ring down for some but that's probably where Lucien was.

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Jean wandered into the lounge, drawn by the sound of a giggling baby and soft voices. She stopped, watching a baby crawling around, exploring. Amelia, her beautiful granddaughter, more curls than she had when Jean and Lucien had left, beautiful and lovely and warm and cuddly and; oh god, what was she going to do with a granddaughter and a baby of her own? She turned and ran from the lounge, hoping Lucien hadn't noticed her; but; unfortunately for her, he had. He followed her quickly retreating form, leaving Amelia to Mattie's tender care. He caught up with her at the top of the stairs, just outside their room.

'Jean, Jean!' He called and reached out to grab her wrist. 'What's wrong?'

She pulled away from him, but he would not stop following her and when she tried to close the door he pushed it in. There she stood, shoulders heaving, tears streaming down her sweet cheeks

'Jean, what on earth is wrong?' He implored.

'I can't do this, Lucien, I can't. Raising my granddaughter and my own child at the same time.'

He wrapped his arms round her pulling her into a deep embrace, 'On your own, maybe it's a lot to ask, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Between us we'll raise them and love them and support them and tell them how much we want them; because we do, don't we?'

She sniffed into his chest; he was right, as always. She did love Amelia, she did love this life growing inside her, it had just been a rather big shock, to be expecting at forty six!

'I'm sorry, Lucien.' She whispered, 'I just didn't expect it.'

'And you're tired.' He kissed the top of her head. 'We've done an awful lot in a month, I can't expect you to just take it as normal. I love you Jean, I love the life we have, the life we will have and the life inside you. And I will never, ever leave you on your own.'

'I know and I love you and Amelia and whatever this one turns out to be, I will love it too.' She wiped her eyes with his handkerchief, 'D'you think Mattie will stay on?'

'Well, she did say for as long as we need her, so yes, I'm sure she will.' He kissed the top of her head. 'I've told her, or she guessed when I told her you were sick on the flight back.'

She looked up at him, she should have been the one to tell Mattie, it was her news, but she didn't mind really, she wasn't sure she could have told her without bursting into tears as she realised just how her life was to change, again. She went to wash her face and reapply her make up before going down to see Amelia and Mattie.

Mattie saw them come round into the lounge as she was chasing Amelia. Luckily there was no one else in the room so Amelia had the freedom to crawl and pull herself up on the furniture. She smiled, deciding not to let Jean know she could tell she'd been crying. The two women hugged,

'Congratulations,' Mattie whispered.

'Thank you, I'm not sure I'm used to the idea yet. It was Lucien that pointed it out, how I missed it I've no idea.' Jean smiled, thinking it was faintly silly she hadn't realised she may be pregnant, it was her body after all!

'Handy having a doctor for a husband.' Mattie laughed.

'Mmm...most of the time.' And she smiled. 'I'd love some tea.' She bent down to pick up Amelia who was trying to pull herself up on Jean's legs.

'She's nearly walking,' Mattie told them, 'Forward little madam!'

'The boys walked early, too.' Jean said, 'must be a family trait.'

She turned her attention to her granddaughter, 'Hello, sweetie, and how are you? You've grown!' She hugged and kissed the baby who put her arms round her neck and said, 'Mama.' Grinning proudly.

Mattie instantly held her hands up as Jean looked slightly shocked.

'That's the first time, honestly!' Mattie looked almost as surprised as Jean, 'I always refer to you as 'Grandma', but I suppose it was likely to happen.'

Jean thought about this and looked at Lucien who was looking at her, trying to gauge her reaction. He sat next to her on the couch and put his hand on hers.

'You know, Jean,' as she turned to him, 'Mattie's right. Amelia hadn't started to try to talk when we took her home. 'mama' is one of the first intelligible sounds a baby makes, that and 'dada'.'

Amelia immediately turned to him and grinned, 'Dada!' And she held out her arms to him.

'You deserve that.' Jean laughed.

'Yes, I suppose I do, rather, don't I.' He leant over and kissed her cheek, taking Amelia onto his knee. He knew what she was after. The waitress had brought a tray of tea and biscuits in and Amelia obviously had a long memory, Lucien usually gave her biscuits when Jean wasn't looking. He leant over a picked up a shortbread and gave it to the baby. Jean rolled her eyes and started to pour the tea. They spent the time until dinner talking about their trip and chasing Amelia.

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They strolled to the Nursing Home the following day, Jean pushed Amelia in the borrowed pram again. Mattie had put some fresh toiletries in a basket for Ruby, having checked with the home what she needed. She'd also checked, regularly, on Ruby's progress only to be told 'no change' each time she phoned.

The nurse on the front desk was the same one as before.

'Mrs Blake, Dr Blake how lovely to see you.' She greeted them warmly. 'Surely this isn't Amelia? Goodness hasn't she grown, the air in Ballarat must be something special indeed.'

Jean laughed, 'Actually the doctor and I have been away for a month, out somewhat belated honeymoon so it's down to our nanny, Mattie, really.'

'Well, whatever it is she does, she should bottle it, she'd make a fortune' The nurse said.

'I'll think about that,' Mattie appeared from behind Lucien, 'just in case I'm not needed.'

'That's unlikely to happen for some time, Mattie,' Jean grinned and squeezed her hand. 'Shall we go through?'

The nurse showed them through to Ruby's room. She didn't look any different to Jean, but she went to her and kissed her cheek, 'Hello, Ruby. Here we are again.'

Jean took Amelia out of Mattie's arms and showed her to Ruby, 'She's growing and almost walking now.'

Lucien was constantly amazed at how Jean could talk to Ruby, even though it was like talking to a wall, no response, no flicker of recognition, yet she chatted on, as if she was at a tea party. He was firmly convinced that talking to such patients was good for them, but in Ruby's case he was sure that she was completely unaware of Jean or recognised her own daughter. It was very sad.

Amelia wriggled in her grandmother's arms and Jean eventually had to relent and put her on the floor. She crawled over to Lucien and pulled herself up by his trousers. Lucien crouched down to her and steadied her. Amelia was a determined child and she was never more determined than now.

'Jean,' he called softly. 'Jean.'

Jean turned and looked down to her husband. Amelia was facing her and holding out her arms.

'Ruby,' she urged her daughter in law. 'Ruby, watch.'

She crouched down to face Amelia and held out her arms. The baby, holding out her own arms wobbled the three steps to her grandmother, who swept her up high, and laughed. She turned to Ruby who smiled, just a slight smile and then closed her eyes, for the last time.

'Ruby, Ruby!' She stared, and the tears ran down her cheeks as she realised what had just happened.

Lucien almost pushed Jean to Mattie who wrapped her arms round her and lead her quickly out of the room. Lucien took Ruby's wrist and noted the time. Ruby had passed away, but she had passed happy, seeing her daughter walk between the two people who loved her most.

Jean and Mattie were ushered into a quiet side room where Jean could cry and hold Amelia. Mattie held them both, allowing Jean to let out her grief for a girl she barely knew but who had given her a beautiful granddaughter and had, on occasions supported her in her love for Lucien against Christopher. She would miss her, but now, maybe, she was at peace.

It seemed like an age before Lucien joined them and when he did the first thing he had to do was hold his wife.

'She's gone, sweetheart.' He whispered, 'I'm sorry.'

'Lucien,' Jean hiccupped, 'would she have ever recovered, even a little bit?'

'Honestly, I doubt it.' He said gently, 'The brain doesn't have those powers of regeneration. Damage is usually irreparable as it was in Ruby's case. She's at peace now.'

'Who's going to tell Christopher? I suppose I should.' She sniffed.

'I'll do it, if you'd rather, you can come with me, but I'll give him the news.' He couldn't let her go through something like that, and anyway she had never forgiven Christopher for abandoning both his wife and child.

'Thank you.' She leant against his chest and hugged Amelia closer to her. The child was sleepy, it was about nap time. 'What do we do now?'

'As regards Amelia, that is up to Christopher, but I don't think he will take her from us, and if he does we can apply to adopt her; if that's what you want.' He tightened his arm around her.

'Even though I'm pregnant I still think we are the right people to raise her. I'll get used to the idea of having a young family again.' She moved to look into his eyes, and he smiled down at her.

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Christopher sat in the CO's office waiting for his mother and Lucien to appear. He had been informed of the death of his wife. The CO had been gentle when he told him, although he still thought Beazley had been a coward to leave the raising of his daughter to his mother. He'd made sure the young officer visited his wife once a week, knowing full well he didn't stay long, he'd checked. He considered it part of his job, to see that his men were in a stable condition, mentally. Beazley was a good officer, he lead his men well, just a bit useless when it came to family, couldn't have got that from his mother!

Jean and Lucien were shown into the office. they had ummed and aahed about whether or not they should take Amelia with them, but in the end they decided Christopher ought to see her. Lucien was carrying her and the little girl was happily playing with his tie. Jean went straight up to her son and put her arms round his stiff shoulders,

'Oh, Christopher, I am so sorry.' She kissed his cheek and wiped away a solitary tear that made its way down his cheek.

'Mum,' He whispered.

'She,' Jean breathed deeply, 'She just slipped away, just after she saw Amelia take her first steps. I think she was happy to let go, finally.'

Christopher bowed his head, even he felt he should have been there.

'I suppose I should organise her funeral.' It was a flat statement, it was something he knew he had to do, for once he couldn't expect his mother to do it. 'Something quiet, I think. Just us.'

'Whatever you think she would like, dear.' Jean whispered, grateful that he wasn't asking her to do it. The last funeral she had organised had been Lucien's father's, and even that had been his wishes. He'd told Jean, when he knew he was dying, what he wanted. But the church was full for his service, being such a well respected figure in Ballarat.

There was a light tap on the door and the CO walked in. He shook hands with Lucien and expressed his sorrow to Jean. He made a fuss of Amelia, he only had sons, he said. Turning to Christopher,

'Take as much time as you need Lieutenant.'

'Thank you, sir,' Christopher was standing in the presence of a senior officer, 'I just need to organise a small funeral, there will only be us,' he indicated his mother and the doctor.

'You can use the base chapel, you know.' The officer informed him, 'She can be buried here too, if you wish it.'

For Christopher it was an easy choice, 'I best see the padre then, sir.'

So Christopher did the last thing he could do for his wife, a quiet service, a quick burial, and it was all over.

Jean went over the following day to lay some fresh flowers on the grave. She and Lucien were going back to Ballarat, taking Amelia with them for good. Christopher had formally asked them to care for his daughter, promising to send a regular allowance towards her keep. Jean had opened her mouth to say they did not need the money but Lucien had stopped her.

As they walked away from the base, probably for the last time,

Lucien, we don't need his money.' She didn't understand why he had accepted.

'We don't, but Amelia might, when she gets older. I'll put it in a savings account for her and when she's old enough to understand we'll tell her where it came from and why.'

Jean slipped her hand through his arm and walked contentedly by his side.

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Not an easy chapter to write so I hope you like it. I didn't want to leave Ruby languishing in a home forever and have to keep sending Jean on her mercy mission. There may be two more chapters, I'm not sure yet.


	6. Chapter 6 Jean

Jean's back ached, the baby kicked furiously. 'Typical Blake.' She thought. Apart from that she was sailing through the pregnancy.

Mattie brought Amelia back into the house, she'd taken her for her usual walk while surgery was on, Jean was still the receptionist, still taking the calls. Most of the patients were pleasant to her, there was, as usual the odd one that thought getting pregnant at forty something was undignified. Jean just smiled, noting that those were usually spinsters. When she'd told Mattie,

'They're just jealous,' Mattie said, 'Jealous that you've had the chance of two families and they haven't managed one!'

Amelia ran to mama. Jean had long since given into this. After all she was, in all but name, Amelia's mother now. Jean bent down to the child and lifted her up.

'Nice walk, sweetie?' She kissed her.

'What have we been doing, today, Amelia?' Mattie prompted her.

'Quack quack!'

Jean laughed, obviously feeding the ducks on Lake Wendouree, it was Amelia's favourite thing at the moment.

'Tea?' Jean offered.

'Mmm, lovely. Come on Amelia, coat off.' Mattie took her charge to change before joining Jean in the kitchen.

'How was surgery today?' Mattie sipped the welcome beverage.

'Fine, only one snipe, and that was Susan Tyneman.' Jean helped Amelia drink her milk. 'Agnes was in today, sorry she'd missed this one.'

Mattie smiled, they all liked Agnes, and she liked Amelia, she said she was like Jean, dark curls and green eyes. She had made friends with Amelia by the simple method of giving her chocolate when Jean wasn't looking. As if Jean wouldn't notice.

'What's wrong with Susan Tyneman, that she should snipe at you?' Mattie thought that Patrick's wife had a tendency to look as if she had a permanent bad smell under her nose where the Blake's were concerned, but Patrick had alienated Dr King so she had no choice but to be on Lucien's list.

Jean shrugged. 'Must have had a row with Patrick, or he's played around again.' She had no worried that Lucien would do that, he loved her far too much and wasn't afraid to show it in many ways. Just at that moment the object of her affection entered the kitchen, smiling at the sight that greeted him. He kissed Jean and Amelia and said hello to Mattie.

Amelia lifted her arms to be picked up by dada. She loved sitting on Jean's knee but was so often kicked by the baby in Jean's belly. She would turn and give Jean's bump a dirty look when it happened, which just made everyone laugh. At which she pursed her lips in what Lucien remarked was a brilliant imitation of Jean.

Jean continued to work as normal, Mattie helped with the housework as well as looking after Amelia. It wasn't until she was two weeks off her due date that she agreed to stop. Mattie took over surgery and Jean played with Amelia in the garden.

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' Lucien!' She poked her snoring husband. She'd been unable to get comfortable and thought he ought to know something.

'Wha...' He grunted.

'I think I'm in labour.'

That woke him! Did she really say, 'Labour?'

'Really?' He sat up and looked at her. She looked worried. 'Sure it wasn't just a sharp kick?'

'Don't think so, it felt more like a contraction.' She rubbed her hand over the bump

Lucien went into doctor mode. 'Let's have a look, shall we?' He smiled, reassuringly. As he slid his hand over the top of her belly he felt the tightening.

'Waters?'

'Not yet.' She breathed a sigh of relief, waking up to a wet bed wasn't something she relished the thought of.

'I'll get Mattie, she said she'd help, as you insist on having a home birth.'

He knocked sharply on Mattie's door. 'Mattie, Mattie?' His voice was urgent.

She opened the door, rubbing her eyes. 'What's the matter?'

'Jean thinks she's started labour. Her waters haven't broken yet, though.' He informed her.

Mattie followed the doctor down the stairs to their room.

Jean was lying on the bed, breathing hard. Mattie smiled,

'Well now, what have we here?' She asked kindly. But Jean was not in the mood and gave her a look as if to say, 'you know very well, Nurse O'Brien!'

'Gloves, please, doctor.' She held out her hand to Lucien. His bag was in the room, it always was, so if he was called out during the night he could just grab it; he reached in and found the gloves.

Mattie examined Jean. She appeared to be some way off giving birth.

'Tell you what, why don't you walk around? It might help speed things up, and I can get the bed ready for you.'

Lucien helped his wife off the bed, 'Shall we go into the kitchen and make some tea?' It seemed silly to do circuits of the bedroom, a walk with purpose would keep her mind off it.

'What if my waters break there?' She thought it was an idiotic idea.

'Well, it's easier to clean the kitchen floor than the rugs in here.' Lucien was not noted for his domestic skills so this surprised her.

'Ok.' If it was going to be a long labour she would need tea.

In the kitchen, Lucien put the kettle on and Jean got the cups and saucers. Mattie was right to suggest she walk about, she felt more comfortable. The contractions hurt, of course but it was easier to bear. They were sitting at the table drinking when Mattie wandered through.

'Any tea left?' She asked as if it was quite normal to sit drinking tea in the small hours of the morning with a woman in labour.

'Yes,' Jean got up to get her a cup and stopped, almost mid stride.

'Good, we're making progress.' Mattie got up and put her arms round Jean's shoulders. 'Let's go and have another check, shall we?' She lead her away pausing for another contraction, quite a strong one, this time, judging by the gasp from Jean.

Mattie helped her onto the bed and examined her again.

'Were the other two in this much of a hurry?' She grinned, 'I can see the crown of the head.'

'Uh uh.' Jean managed a grunt as another contraction came.

Lucien entered the room. 'Are you alright, Jean, is there anything I can do?'

She held out her hand to him and grabbed his in a vice like grip. He'd had the fun, now he was going to feel the pain! He gasped at her strength.

'Ok, Jean,' Mattie urged, 'It's time to start pushing, on the next contraction.'

Jean remembered what to do, 'funny how some things come back to you' she thought as she put as much effort as she could into helping the baby into the world.

'We haven't thought of names, have we?' Lucien tried to distract her from the pain.

Jean grunted and groaned on another contraction.

'Lucien, if it's a boy.' She gasped.

'Two Luciens!' His voice rose as she dug her fingernails into his palm. 'You want to make things difficult for yourself, don't you?' He knew he wasn't the easiest person to live with.

'Sorry,' She hadn't meant to hurt him that much. 'What do you suggest, then?'

Another contraction and another push, a Herculean effort, Lucien thought.

'Your father, Frederick, wasn't it?' He grinned down at her.

'Yes, but he was known at Fred.' She wasn't keen, it was such an old fashioned name and an old sounding name.

'We could call him Freddie.'

'One more, Jean.' Mattie called. 'He's nearly here.'

The baby gave vent to its disgust at being disturbed.

'A boy, Lucien, Jean it's a lovely baby boy!' Mattie smiled.

Jean sighed, heavily. She'd given Lucien a son. She didn't _really_ care what sex the child was and was sure he didn't either, but it was good that the Blake dynasty would continue.

He bent over her and kissed her, gently but lovingly.

Mattie finished her duties, making Jean comfortable, washing the baby and handing the boy to his mother.

Jean gazed down at her son. He had his father's golden hair, curly and soft. 'Hello, Freddie,' she whispered, 'Welcome to the family.' She kissed his soft, downy head.

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Frederick Lucien was baptised a month later. Mattie and Charlie were god parents. He was a placid baby, loved by his parents, poked by Amelia and cooed over by Lucien's patients; especially Agnes.

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Lucien stretched his legs out as he sat on the bench in the garden. It was a Saturday, and since Freddie had been born he had decided that weekends were family time. The only interruption would be police business, until Alice Harvey decided that she would take the calls over the weekends and have two days off during the week. She had no family to worry about so she was quite happy. Freddie was inside being fed by his mother, Lucien was watching Amelia toddle around the garden, touching the plants and pushing her hands into the soft earth. She'd be filthy by the time he took her in, Jean might be cross, but he liked that she was so inquisitive. She was so like Jean, determined, inquiring and loving. She'd even forgiven Freddie for arriving and taking some of mama's time. Mattie had said she would be happy to stay on as nanny for as long as the Blake's wanted her to, but Jean was worried she was going to miss out on love herself.

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Mattie was aware of Jean's worry. She thought it was so sweet that she would worry that the younger woman would end up 'mother to dozens, but nobody's wife.' She had plans. Plans that neither Jean nor Lucien had any idea about.

When she took Amelia and Freddie out for their afternoon walk, during surgery, she was sure to meet a certain young man who was close to her. The children were too young to tell tales and she was not going to tell Jean or Lucien that she was seeing someone. She just hoped nobody in Ballarat would disclose her secret. She didn't know if she was in love, or just comfortable with the man she met, but as time went on she began to hope that he would see just how much he meant to her.

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This is the final chapter of this story, otherwise it becomes a Mattie story. Jean and Lucien are happy, the babies are growing. You can make your own minds up about Mattie.

Hope you've enjoyed reading it.


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